I’m not a fan of accountability groups.

Why? Because they don’t work very well. At least not for most of the churches that implement them. After more than 20 years of men’s discipleship, I have seen numerous accountability groups within churches that contain the problem of my dislike. The problem is found in James 5:16. Let’s take a look at it before we go any further:

“Confess your sins one to another, so that you may be healed.” -James 5:16

This is the verse that launched the movement of men’s accountability groups. So why would I NOT like something that originated straight from the Bible? Well, first let me say that James 5:16 is one of my favorite verses for discipling the hearts of men. I love the truth that is embodied in this passage.

What is this life-changing truth that I appreciate? I will give you a hint. It is NOT the confession part. The most important part of this verse is “that you may be healed.”  We confess for one reason: so that we can keep our souls healthy! It is the way that God designed us as humans. Our mind, body, and souls will not be whole and healthy if we keep our sins in the dark. Secrets will slowly kill you.

We, as the Body of Jesus Christ, have the privilege of coming together and unashamedly putting a voice to our mistakes, critical words, idolatry, hatred, pride, greed, and so much more. We MUST open our mouths and openly confess our sins to at least one other Christian man on a regular basis.

I repeat, I’m not a fan of accountability groups. Why? Because there is not a lot of James 5:16 Christ-centered transformation going on in these groups. These groups are good at the confession part, just not the healing part.
What is the primary problem of a men’s accountability group? The focus is oftentimes misplaced.

Men’s accountability groups put a huge emphasis on past sinful behavior.

Take a look at the first problem: focus on the past. The underlying tone of the meeting is, “What sins did you commit in the last week?” This is a problem because 100% of all of those sins have been completely forgiven by God. This is huge– let’s throw a party and have a celebration! Praise God that our past sins are not held against us! Thank you, Jesus, that your work on the cross was enough for all of our sins!

Let’s take a look at the other word that renders many accountability groups powerless: behavior.

Unfortunately, many Christian men still see sin in light of their actions and behaviors.

They get angry at themselves for lusting after an attractive woman. They pray that they can get a grip on their anger problem. They feel guilty because they haven’t had a quiet time all week. What is the focus here? Outward behavior and sinful actions. This misplaced focus is always a dead end.

Romans 14:23 tells us that sin is defined by “whatever is not of faith.”  While man looks at the outward, God looks at the heart. Sin, at its core, is nothing less than a faith issue. Whenever we sin, we choose to not trust our perfect, heavenly Father. It’s simple: sin is unbelief.

This Biblical definition of sin changes everything for a men’s accountability group. Now their focus is not on behavior, but instead on the heart. And now there is great hope that a man can move forward on a journey of healing and transformation like James 5:16 promises us.

So how does a men’s group get to experience this transformation?  By laying hold of the grand prize called repentance. The Greek word for repentance is metanoia, which means “a change of mind.”  Why do we call repentance the grand prize? Because when a man’s mind is changed (by the power of the Holy Spirit), then his actions and behavior are also changed. It is a guarantee.

A transformed mind always results in transformed behavior.

So, what actually transforms when a man changes his mind?

His heart beliefs! Remember, our main problem is unbelief, right? When we repent we move from unbelief to belief. The work of repentance is identifying the lies that we are believing and then trusting God to impart His truth into our hearts and give us faith to believe. It is that simple.

Let’s take a look at Bob. Bob met with his men’s group last week and confessed his sin of shouting at his wife and being critical toward her. Fortunately, his brothers made sure that his confession was not the end goal. His confession merely opened the door for Biblical transformation, or “healing” as James 5:16 says. Because of his humility and honesty, Bob  received the gift of seeing the reality of his heart toward his wife. He did this by opening his mouth and talking. Eventually “whatever is in the heart, the mouth speaks” took place.

Bob’s brothers asked him a few questions, and then the Holy Spirit did His job perfectly. Bob saw the sins of unforgiveness (from his wife’s disrespect 3 weeks ago) and selfish expectations (he wanted more sex). He realized his problem was not an anger problem. It never is an anger problem, it is a heart problem. Bob bowed his head and asked God to forgive him of his sins of unforgiveness and expectations. He took some time to receive and give thanks for God’s total forgiveness. Lastly, he asked God to show him who his wife really is.

Bob’s eyes were opened to the incredible gift of his wife. His heart melted toward her. He saw that her recent busyness with her job and the kids was not intentional neglect towards him. He truly repented and experienced a change of mind. He finished the prayer with tearful words of gratitude for his beautiful wife. He looked like a new man when he opened his eyes and raised his head.

I’m thankful that Bob’s friends fleshed out the entirety of James 5:16 (not just the confession part). I’m also thankful that God is more concerned with my redeemed heart than with my past bad behavior. And I’m most thankful that there is a path called repentance that I can walk down any time that I get angry, fearful, resentful, or full of shame.

God is more concerned with my redeemed heart than with my past bad behavior

Conclusion

Am I suggesting that the church do away with accountability groups? Not really. Call your men’s group anything that you want. Just remember, you can either choose to focus on your sin, or God’s path to freedom. The choice is yours.

As for me and my brothers, we choose freedom!