‍Benefit #5: A Place to Discover your Identity in Christ

Many men have stumbled into our men’s movement with a heart full of pain. Broken relationships, addictions, insecurities, emotional agony, and more. It takes great effort to get to the root of a man’s pain. But if the man is willing to be honest and submit to his brothers, eventually the root is revealed.

And the root is always the same: the man does not know who he is. This is the plight of many men in the church today, even those that appear outwardly successful and have it all together. Wimpy Man Syndrome, at its core, is the result of a man who is not grounded deeply in the power of sonship. This basic deficiency is responsible for most of a man’s suffering.

In a SPAR group, a man is given the opportunity to explore the shame-based lies that every man struggles with. Maybe some of these have hindered you, lies such as: 

“I am not worthy”

“I must be perfect”

“I don’t have what it takes”

“I am unlovable”

“I am powerless to change”

Everything changes when a man steps into “who he is in Christ.” This is what SPAR is all about. Most men do not know they are believing a lie about who they are as a man. They know that something is wrong deep within, but they have no idea where the pain is coming from.

Having brothers shines a bright light deep into the soul of a man.

If there is a shame-based lie lurking deep within, it will be revealed.

What happens next? The explosive growth begins in a man! In SPAR, a man is given the opportunity to be still and hear God’s voice concerning his identity. In addition, men who are skilled in giving affirmation step up, look the man in the eye, and tell him what they see in his life and his character concerning his power as a man. 

This affirmation of identity happens over and over, week after week in SPAR. Lies are dismantled, and sonship takes root. Before long, a wimpy man has matured into a man  convinced of his God-given identity. 

‍Benefit #6: A Place to Find your Voice

The unique part of a SPAR meeting is that the leader will often say the fewest words of any man in the group. This is because we believe that every man is a leader. And it is the job of the SPAR leader to help every man find his voice.

Many Christian men have not been introduced to the powerful, masculine voice that is within. Our words are powerful and can impact others in life-changing ways. It is easy to open up our mouths and talk about the weather, sports, politics, gossip, theology, and your favorite hobby. It takes a real man, and genuine faith, to:

Confess your sins

Rebuke a brother in love

Ask a painful question

Pray with vulnerability

Affirm another man

These are the conversational skills that are learned in a SPAR group. We develop these skills by watching other men. Most of all, we learn these skills through practice with our brothers in SPAR. It takes a lot of guts to find your voice. It is never easy to confess a sexual sin to a group of men. 

Once a man begins to find his voice, his relationships begin to change. In his family, he begins to show up as the loving leader God has called him to be. He also begins to minister to others as a lifestyle. Life gets exciting when a man finds his voice. 

Benefit #7: A Place To Learn God’s Truth

If you try out a SPAR group, you will find out quickly that it is NOT a Bible study. This is a very important part of SPAR. We have witnessed many church-going men who have invested years into reading and hearing Bible information who fail to obey and spiritually mature. Our goal with men is singular: help men grow to maturity.

There is a huge difference in “teaching God’s word” and “helping men learn God’s word.”

We want men to LEARN, so that they can grow, in order to become mature. SPAR is a greenhouse for growth and maturity. Men experience God’s truth through meditating on God’s word, journaling, speaking it forth to one another, and praying God’s word aloud.

As men keep coming to SPAR week after week, they discover that transformation is truly happening in their heart as evidenced by godly behavior. Romans 12:2 calls this gradual change “transformed by the renewing of your mind.” 

Why is SPAR so effective in helping men learn God’s word? It all boils down to hunger. In SPAR, men realize how much they need God and his power in their daily lives. This hunger, in turn, causes them to intensely pursue God and His truths for their life. And this pursuit leads to transformed man.

‍Benefit #8: A Place to Find Courage in Suffering

All of us have encountered seasons of pain and suffering. All of us will eventually suffer once again. The only question is: Will we be courageous when pain and suffering comes our way?

There is only one way to bravely persevere when the storms of life hit you square in the face. You must have brothers. You cannot make it through the tough seasons of life on your own. You will give up. 

Most men do. When the inevitable crises comes, the normal course of action is to shut down, withdraw, find a way to medicate the pain, and hunker down until the storm passes. But a man with brothers heads down a different path.

When I found out that my marriage was over in October of 2011, I was overcome with pain and agony. I didn’t think I would survive the emotional torture. Thank God I had my SPAR brothers! They cried with me, prayed for me, spent hundreds of hours with me in my pain, and refused to give up on me.

The dictionary definition of the word “hero” is “one who shows great courage in the midst of great suffering.” During that season of my life, I was a hero. But only because I had an all-star team of men radically committed to me. Without those brothers, I would have spiritually died. 

We have seen hundreds of broken men in East Texas find hope in the midst of brotherhood. These men have embraced the pain, loved others well, and become true heroes.